As a member of Stonewall, we are committed to creating inclusive workplaces for all.
These stories have been brought together thanks to members of Pulse LGBT+ Staff Network. The Network aims to work in partnership with the University and other LGBT+ networks to create a safe, inclusive and diverse working environment that encourages respect and equality for everybody, regardless of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity.
Tarrant Robbins – Student Academic Administration
Q1. What was ‘coming out’ like for you? Did you experience any difficulties, or was it a non-issue?
Coming out for me was a much bigger issue in my head than in reality. Up until the moment I said “I am gay” I had built every scenario possible in my head of how my family and friends would react, and that process took months of very lonely thinking and panicking. When I finally came out I chose to tell me best friend first through a letter, and she was completely fine. When I came out to my family a few months later, they were relieved that I hadn’t made my best friend pregnant (I was 18). True to form my family had nothing but light hearted questions to ask and they knew I was gay long before I identified it myself.
I do find now that I’m still ‘coming out’ to people on a regular basis; most of the time I don’t even think about doing it but now and again I feel like I have to think about how I might present my information so as to get the response I want. I shouldn’t have to even think about it.
Q2. What’s your experience been like as a member of staff and a member of the LGBT+ community?
My experience as a member of staff at UoS has been wholly excepting to the point where it is a complete non-issue. I arrived at UoS after 12 years of secondary teaching where there was some careful pruning of my behaviour and preferences in attire to ensure that I didn’t “present loudly” (a previous Headmaster’s words). So to now be at an institution where I can behave and wear what I prefer is wholly comforting. A large portion of this is working in a very inclusive and open-thinking team where your professionalism is not locked to how you look.
Q3. Do you feel that your sexuality, gender identity, or both will present any barriers or opportunities in relation to your study or future employment?
Whilst I identify as male (and gay) I know that there some elements of me that others might choose to label as ‘presenting female’ (such as some clothing choices, nail polish etc). I personally prefer to think of this in non-gender terms and its something I’m doing more and more as I get older and care less about others people’s direct opinions. Inside the university I have no qualms that how I present myself has limited bearing on peoples perception of my professional capabilities.
However, having come from teaching where the opposite is true (how on earth could you possibly expect to manage the behaviour of children and garner their respect if you’re not wearing a tie?!) I do worry that should I leave the institution I will need to start muzzling my personal appearance in order to conform. This is something I do not relish.
Q4. Do you think society and attitudes have changed towards the LGBT+ community in your lifetime?
Certainly in my lifetime I feel that there has been a shift in attitudes towards the LGBT+ community; mostly for the better. I’ve found people are generally more accepting and people are more open to discussion. That said, there are still times and places where I will actively change my behaviour to ‘blend’ in more so as not to mark myself as different.
Q5. If you could give one piece of advice to a member of the University’s LGBT community, what would that be?
My advice would be: talk! After years of teaching and working with probably hundreds/thousands of young people, the most powerful thing is to be your honest self and talk. People do not grow if they do not see what is truly around them.
Paul Bonaer – Human Resources
Q1. What was ‘coming out’ like for you? Did you experience any difficulties, or was it a non-issue?
Coming out was a very long process for me, influenced by my perception of how my friends were going to treat me. I experienced a fairly low level of bullying at secondary school based on some peoples’ perception of my sexuality, but I wasn’t ready to accept who I was at that time, so I stayed firmly in the closet. The first time I mentioned it to friends was on a sixth-form college trip to London sat outside the National Gallery but, I was back in the closet by the time we got on the coach home.
I wasn’t able to really accept who I was and what the consequences were until I turned 21 and then it really was like having a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Although the adjustment wasn’t easy for everybody, my friends and family couldn’t have been more supportive with many of them asking “what took you so long?”
Q2. What’s your experience been like as a member of staff and a member of the LGBT+ community?
On the whole, I’ve never been really conscious of being part of a ‘separate’ community from anyone else and being LGBT+ really has been a total non-issue for me since joining the University. The widespread visibility of the rainbow lanyards has, for me, played a really important role at a subconscious level of acceptance. That’s not to say that I’ve not experienced homophobia in other workplaces, but nothing beyond a bit of name-calling, which I’ve always been able to deal with.
People may choose to call me anything they want, but I’ve only ever been offended by it if I’ve chosen to be offended; They might get bonus points if they put the effort into being extra-imaginative though.
Q3. Do you feel that your sexuality, gender identity, or both will present any barriers or opportunities in relation to your study or future employment?
I genuinely believe that being LGBT+ has never presented a barrier to my current or future employment opportunities. My managers and colleagues have always been really supportive of my personal and professional development, which has extended to supporting me as a foster carer.
Q4. Do you think society and attitudes have changed towards the LGBT+ community in your lifetime?
Massively. When I was starting to reconcile who I was, the age of consent was still 21 years of age. While all my straight friends were starting out on their own exploration of their sexuality, it was always in the back of my mind that I was technically breaking the law.
I’ve had eggs thrown at me and my friends, and even punched in the face just for queueing outside a gay nightclub. Seeing the original Queer As Folk debut on mainstream TV felt like a massive breakthrough at the time, but now there is so much diverse representation across TV which can only be a good thing. There’s still lots to do in terms of breaking down long standing social barriers, but it really does feel like a million miles away from where we were in the mid-90’s.
Q5. If you could give one piece of advice to a member of the University’s LGBT community, what would that be?
Coming out ended up being a lot easier than I thought it would be. In hindsight, if I’d trusted myself, my family, and my choice of friends better, then I would have been able to come out years earlier than I did. Ultimately, it’s a very personal choice about when to do it, so don’t feel the pressure.
Louise Goux-Wirth – Human Resources
Q1. What was ‘coming out’ like for you? Did you experience any difficulties, or was it a non-issue?
Back in secondary school my friends and I used to get bullied because half our year thought we were lesbians and I remember diverting the comments with “actually we’re bisexual” – but to be honest I wish I had been able to come out much sooner, as early as Primary School. Saying I was bisexual felt safer than saying I was gay, as for me it felt there would be still a chance that I was ‘normal’ with the potential of having a boyfriend like everyone else.
It was only once I got to University and moved away from home that I felt in a safe environment to come out as gay – which really lifted so much anxiety and was one of the best things that could have happened.
When I came out to my friends and my little sister it was very much a non issue, however my parents took it well until I had my first girlfriend. I think the girlfriend made it a little bit more real for them. For me ‘coming out’ hasn’t been just a one moment thing. I navigate it at different moments and circles of my life, even still today both at work and in my personal life.
Q2. What’s your experience been like as a member of staff and a member of the LGBT+ community?
When I got offered my job, I immediately got in touch with the chair of the LGBT+ Staff Network – as for me a sense of community is really important. I’ve been particularly proud of seeing so many staff wearing the rainbow lanyards. We all love a colourful rainbow – but those lanyards aren’t just a pretty accessory but a powerful symbol of support for the LGBT+ community.
Q3. Do you feel that your sexuality, gender identity, or both will present any barriers or opportunities in relation to your future employment?
I’ve never felt that my sexuality or gender identity have been barriers – which I know I should count myself lucky as this isn’t the case for everyone around the world.
Q4. Do you think society and attitudes have changed towards the LGBT+ community in your lifetime?
In some cases yes – and others no. It’s important to take in the huge equality strides we’ve achieved. However there are moments, even in the last year, where it’s a stark reminder of far we still need to go. US President baring transgender people from serving in the military is just one example – working towards LGBT+ equality is a forever thing, not just during Pride season.
Q5. If you could give one piece of advice to a member of the University’s LGBT community, what would that be?
Bring your whole self to work. This ranges from asking colleagues to use your preferred pronouns, being able to openly talk about your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner, confidently feeling you can report harassment, to getting actively involved with the Pulse LGBT+ Staff Network.
I really hope that LGBT+ staff at the University feel that they can be themselves, completely, and feel that they are in a supportive and inclusive workplace. If you feel that this isn’t the case, please reach out to your colleagues, manager, the Pulse LGBT+ Staff Network or the EDI Team.
If you would like to get more involved with the Pulse LGBT+ Staff Network, please contact the Equality Diversity and Inclusion Team by emailing [email protected].
